I was sitting in my kids room the other night and realised again that I have romanticised the whole birth experience. I am so full of positive information, great encouragement and wonderful memories from my previous time, that I have forgotten how painful it really was. There is a part of me that feels so unprepared for the pain and another part that says, leave her, she needs that mindset now. Interesting how we have the ability to do this as human beings. When we are engaged, we here people's comments about how tough marraige is, but brush it aside as mere personal experience, instead of a warning to make good preparations and choose wisely. When we want to have children we hear and see others struggle with small kids and smile and think, how special. I think it is nature's way of pushing us into the next season, for who would have gone into everything knowing exactly how hard it would be?
So I have accepted my romanticised point of view of my upcoming labour. I am embracing it. Thinking only of the special time with my husband, the intimitate hours when everyone else is asleep, the feeling of the achievement when you have successfully gone through it, and the smell of your baby as she looks into your eyes. I remind myself to buy snacks, to get a good dvd, to choose music, decide about a birth pool or not, and pray that she will come when it is easiest on my other kids.