Friday, November 12, 2010

Adoption passion

I have a passion for adoption. Always have. Ever since I was a little girl and read the Maasdorp series of books where a rich family adopting one of the school girls. My husband married me knowing that, appart from our biological children, we would adopt. I used to pray for my children in a special way: wherever they are, wherever they will come from, that they will be protected and know that they are accepted, wanted and loved. I did not know whether they are yet to be born or running around somewhere. We waited years to fall pregnant and then decided to adopt first. Which I think was wonderful, as I hear many people with a passion for adoption, never adopt once they have there biological children. It was like a whole new world opened up for us and we will never be the same - even though we have received a biological daughter thereafter and expecting our other one soon. I listen to couples spending thousands of Rands on fertility treatments and going through the emotional hell of it all, and wonder why they do not just adopt. Amazing biological mothers and amazing children are waiting for parents who want to love children as much as these couples want to. I hear their fears and I know they are based on lies or half truths, or scary stories they once heard somewhere. They worry about bad genes, forgetting they have those themselves. They worry about the biological mother taking the child back, while there are perfectly good laws to protect against that. They worry about feeling different, but those of us who know, can tell them that THAT AINT SO.
Then there is the flipside of girls falling pregnant and choosing between two option, keeping the baby or abortion, while there is an amazing third choice. They worry about where the baby will end up, without knowing that they have a say in the matter and all families are screened (which does not happen in the biological parenting way). They worry about expenses, not even realising that through a private agency the adopting family pays for all the medical expenses as well as the birth. I wish I had a voice, loud enough and strong enough, to tell girls before they are in such a situation, and this is my message: EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE PREGNANT BY ACCIDENT OR WITHOUT YOUR FAULT OR CONSENT, IT IS STILL A MIRACLE. AND THERE ARE MANY FAMILIES OUT THERE PRAYING FOR SUCH A MIRACLE. xxx

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